For many years, I have maintained that September is my favourite month. This year, I’m declaring that October has the equal honour of joint first place for the accolade. I don’t know exactly what’s changed, but something inside me has shifted. Perhaps I’m paying closer attention to the little things and noticing the ordinary everyday joys a little more. Maybe it’s because of the extra reminders I’ve had this year that life is short. Or it could be something else entirely.
All I know is that I have been deeply appreciative of the beautiful autumnal colours this year – they seem to be more vibrant than usual. The hushed magic of foggy mornings where spiderwebs catch the dew and display the droplets reverently like jewels have taken my breath away. The rhythmical clatter of raindrops on the kitchen roof has felt familiar and comforting (although, admittedly, I’m less appreciative when it starts raining inside my kitchen because the ceiling is leaking yet again).
Here’s a little bit of life lately, in October…
The delicate and dazzling beauty of a perfect spiderweb – a tiny joy from October
BOOKS
After six weeks, I finally finished Ghost Rider: Travels On The Healing Road by Neil Peart. It’s a big, chunky book, and it was heavy going in some places. I’m glad I persevered – I needed to know what happened at the end of the epic journey he undertook following the devastating loss of his daughter and his wife in the space of less than a year. I was not expecting the ending that he summarised in the epilogue! As I said last month when I was about halfway through the book, I’d have loved some photographs to have further illustrated some of the stories he told, the people he mentioned and places he travelled to. Worth reading – it reminds you of just how resilient people can be, how grief changes us, and how long & winding the path to healing can be.
Next up was Wintering by Katherine May – the third book of hers I’ve read this year. I really enjoy the way she writes and I find her honesty refreshing. My copy now has lots of turned down corners and underlined sentences that I want to refer back to. When I first picked it up, I genuinely thought it was going to be a guide on how to practically survive the geological/meteorological season of winter, which I struggle with every year – I’m solar powered and detest the cold.
In a way, it was about this – choosing to find appreciation for the icy temperatures, seeking out ways to create cosiness, looking for the magic in the dark etc… – but throughout the book she also uses the term ‘wintering’ synonymously with depression, describing it as a ‘personal winter’. She suggests that we all experience seasons of personal wintering throughout our lives (whether or not they line up with the actual season of winter), and that they are in some ways, inevitable. Some experience more than others of course, depending on life circumstances. Our downfall is the hope and expectation that life will be one, long, eternal summer. Her suggestion is that if we anticipate and prepare for potential seasons of wintering, they are easier to navigate and emerge from. I found this concept fascinating, and the book as a whole to be insightful, funny, relatable and uplifting even though it’s about a challenging subject.
‘Ghost Rider’ by Neil Peart and ‘Wintering’ by Katherine May (closely guarded by a sleepy Luna)
LIFE LATELY…
October has mostly involved a lot of life admin related tasks: multiple dentist, doctor, hospital, optician, vet and hair appointments; mock exams; college & uni open days; and half term, all whilst trying to work with my therapy clients & supervisees, and keep the house running (relatively) smoothly. It’s been a lot and my immune system struggled a bit – I picked up a cold then a nasty cough and have been feeling pretty under-the-weather for a few weeks. In the end I gave up trying to stay on top of everything and embraced the chaos. Breakfast for dinner, overdue emails and a towering ironing pile have been a bit of an ongoing theme this month. Thankfully I seem to be through the worst of it now, I’m feeling much better and order is slowly beginning to be restored.
We spent a weekend in York visiting Ella. She’s now settled in really well, has made some good friends and is loving uni life. We went out for dinner where she regaled us with stories of her flatmates’ antics and shared photos of everything she’d been up to. She also enjoyed showing us around her new city (I’d seen it all before with her of course, but her Dad and sisters hadn’t). We explored York Minster, St Mary’s Abbey, and The Shambles, paid a visit to the Paddington Bear bench, walked a small section of the city walls, and had a wander around some of the shops. We all agreed that we could quite happily spend more time there – it’s a beautiful city.
We were supposed to see her on campus too, so Mimi and Lola could get a feel for where she is spending most of her days, but the Yorkshire Marathon was on and all the road closures meant we couldn’t physically get to her, so we’re saving that for another visit instead. It was wonderful getting to spend some time with her after not seeing her for five weeks, and my mama heart felt reassured that she is genuinely managing ok, despite the initial wobble on moving-in weekend in September. I’m so proud of her.
Lola was the only one who was willing to sit on the bench next to Paddington
Strolling through Museum Gardens
Reunited 🙂
Just a week later, we got to see her again when she returned home for a few days at the start of half term. I’d planned in some of the things we usually do – pumpkin picking at Canalside Farm, a trip to a historic house (Haddon Hall this year) – and it was good to have her home. I think she was mostly happy to be briefly reunited with the cats!
Pumpkin picking at Canalside Farm
Mimi’s pumpkin design – she makes them more creative and intricate every year
Ella and I spent the day together at Haddon Hall
All of a sudden, Chapter Ten is now closed. Ordinarily, I don’t really like November – it’s a bit of a dark and quiet month – but actually, I think that might be exactly what’s needed in order to gather the energy required for the chaotic busy-ness of December. So I’m going to allow myself to sink into it and see what happens.
I hope that you found plenty of little things to love throughout October and that you’ve got lots to look forward to in November.
With love,
Chloe x
