I take hundreds of photos every month, and most of them don’t get shared with anyone, let alone online. And yet the moments in time that those photos capture are just as important a part of our story as the other images that I do choose to share.
I originally created this blog as a way of documenting our lives, a way of watching the girls grow into who they’re going to be and a way of remembering who they once were. It’s something I want them to be able to look back on as they get older, because memories fade but (digital) photographs don’t. A legacy, of sorts.
It’s easy (and tempting) to only focus on sharing the fun bits, the memorable parts, the highlights and the celebrations. But I’m learning more and more as I continue through this crazy journey of motherhood and life that it’s really important to me that I capture the ordinary, everyday times that we spend together as well.
The pieces of the jigsaw that fill in the gaps to complete the picture.
The tantalising glimpses into who our girls are becoming.
The chaos, the calm and all the moments in between.
This feature – The Moments In Between – is a space for me to share all of those magical and messy parts of our family life that would otherwise just stay in a folder on my laptop, never to see the light of day.
SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER
As I write this, we’re deep into autumn. The air feels different, the clocks have gone back, the leaves are changing colour and there has been a big shift in the energy and rhythm of our days as we’ve moved into this new season. Ella has left school and started her A levels at college, and Sophie has moved in with us part-time whilst she studies her Masters degree at a nearby university – she now lives with us for half of the week and with her boyfriend for the other half. It’s taken me longer to adapt to these two changes than I anticipated.
On reflection, there really has been quite a lot going on during these last couple of months. I’ve done a fair bit of travelling (Lisbon, Scotland, Southampton, and Surrey, to name just a few…), the whole house was turned upside down for several days so we could have all the carpets replaced, I spontaneously had my hair cut short and I’ve had Covid (for the second time this year). For someone who isn’t that big a fan of change in general, there have certainly been a lot of changes happening. Perhaps it’s not all that surprising that I’ve found it a little bit challenging at times – I’ve barely had time to breathe.
I know there’s a lesson in it all somewhere. Something about deliberately choosing to slow down and take my time even though it seems like everything has sped up. Something about letting go of old ways of being and adjusting to new ones. Something about finding the calm and the space in the midst of all the chaos.
Because that still-point in me is there somewhere, I know it is.
It’s there when I click the shutter on my camera and capture a moment forever – magical light filtering through a window, genuine smiles from the teens, a moment of confidence…
And it’s also there when I don’t have my camera to hand and I’m simply being fully present in the moment too. It’s in the inside jokes between sisters, and the cute and silly kitten/puppy/bird reels sent back and forth on Instagram to make each other laugh or melt at the adorableness. It’s in the “thank you for dinner”s and “how did your test go?”s and “do you remember when…?”s and “please can you come and pick me up?”s and “do you want a hug?”s. It’s there when we watch Strictly, and when they are delighted to be unexpectedly presented with dough balls at dinner, and when they voluntarily vaccuum their bedrooms.
In essence, it’s there when I look for it, when I notice it. In all fairness it’s probably there all the time and I just need to pay closer attention to it. Rachel Larson Weaver recently said in an Instagram post “Paying attention is the best way I know to help time slow down”. Maybe that really is the key.
Either way, these images are all the moments I’ve paid attention to over the last two months. There are plenty and yet somehow not enough all at once. And it still astonishes me how those two seemingly incongruous things can magically co-exist at the same time. Maybe the same thing is true of chaos and calm, change and familiarity. The moments in between are what truly matter most.
This was us in September and October…
