I take hundreds of photos every month, and most of them don’t get shared with anyone, let alone online. And yet the moments in time that those photos capture are just as important a part of our story as the other images that I do choose to share.
I originally created this blog as a way of documenting our lives, a way of watching the girls grow into who they’re going to be and a way of remembering who they once were. It’s something I want them to be able to look back on as they get older, because memories fade but (digital) photographs don’t.
It’s easy (and tempting) to only focus on sharing the fun bits, the memorable parts, the highlights and the celebrations. But I’m learning more and more as I continue through this crazy journey of motherhood that it’s really important to me that I capture the ordinary, everyday times that we spend together as well.
The bits of the jigsaw that fill in the gaps to complete the picture. The tantalising glimpses into who our girls are becoming. The chaos, the calm and all the moments in between.
This monthly feature – The Moments In Between – is a space for me to share all of those magical bits that would otherwise just stay in a folder on my laptop, never to see the light of day.
April 2020 will forever be known as the month of lockdown. The month where life as we knew it got put on pause for a while and everything changed. It still doesn’t feel real and, as cliched as it sounds, I keep expecting to wake up and for it to all have been a dream.
It is real though and Covid-19 has altered the way we live our lives in previously unimaginable ways. It’s been a month of many adjustments. Of getting used to having everyone home 24/7, of figuring out homeschooling, of having to abide by social distancing rules, of creating a new rhythm for our family that works for everyone. The girls have coped amazingly well and, truthfully, I don’t think I want them to go back to school when the time comes. I know they miss their friends though – I can’t wait to see their faces when they’re eventually reunited.
It’s been a month of contradictions. The safety of our little home bubble vs the threat of the virus every time I/we leave the house. Stress and anxiety about a trip to the supermarket, worry about the health of loved ones, fear about Lola’s operation. Grief from the loss of freedom & cancelled adventures. Guilt for not doing more to help. Guilt for working even though the girls are home. Simultaneously feeling grateful for this unexpected gift of extra time with my family that is filling my soul and making my heart happy. Feeling good about having less pressure for a while, enjoying having the time to think carefully about my values and to be more intentional about how (and who) I want to be in this same-but-different world. Complex layers of feelings that I’ll probably never fully understand and am simply doing my best to sit with and accept.
I wanted to document this strange time in our history in some special way and then I realised that these words and these images are enough exactly as they are. Our moments in between captured as they unfold. The story of this chapter of our lives being told just as I’ve told all the other chapters over the last couple of years. All of these memories recorded for future generations of our family to be able to experience one day, seeing things through our eyes.
They might look like ordinary snapshots but there is a particular kind of magic in the mess and the mundane. These photographs are significant and meaningful and they matter more than we probably realise right now.
Every single photo has a multitude of layers beyond what you see on the surface.
Every single one speaks to me in so many ways.
Every single one is a piece of our jigsaw.
This is us.