I take hundreds of photos every month, and most of them don’t get shared with anyone, let alone online. And yet the moments in time that those photos capture are just as important a part of our story as the other images that I do choose to share.
I originally created this blog as a way of documenting our lives, a way of watching the girls grow into who they’re going to be and a way of remembering who they once were. It’s something I want them to be able to look back on as they get older, because memories fade but (digital) photographs don’t. A legacy, of sorts.
It’s easy (and tempting) to only focus on sharing the fun bits, the memorable parts, the highlights and the celebrations. But I’m learning more and more as I continue through this crazy journey of motherhood and life that it’s really important to me that I capture the ordinary, everyday times that we spend together as well.
The pieces of the jigsaw that fill in the gaps to complete the picture.
The tantalising glimpses into who our girls are becoming.
The chaos, the calm and all the moments in between.
This feature – The Moments In Between – is a space for me to share all of those magical and messy parts of our family life that would otherwise just stay in a folder on my laptop, never to see the light of day.
JULY & AUGUST
This summer will forever be etched in my memory as the summer where the girls unanimously reached an unspoken, unwritten agreement that they would all start making their own lunches whilst at home for the six week holidays.
I don’t quite know how they arrived this decision – no one asked them to do so, they simply made eye contact one day, collectively moved into action like cogs in a mechanism seamlessly fitting around one another, and did it. Cheese on toast and jam sandwiches, packets of crisps and fruit. From then on it immediately became a new normal, a new rhythm to the day, and just like that I was made redundant of a mothering duty I actually quite enjoyed doing.
I was aware of the inevitability of it happening eventually of course – they’re growing up. Ella starts college in a few days time and Mimi will be sitting her GCSEs this academic year. It was probably about time, maybe even long overdue, that they owned their independence of this simple task. And yet… a little part of me is mourning it. It was so abrupt. I didn’t know that the last lunch I made them was going to be the last lunch. I would perhaps have taken a little more care over it, poured a little more love into it. Not being needed in that capacity any more makes me ache with an intensity I wasn’t expecting.
With the inability of being able to turn back the clock, I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to help me process this loss, as silly as it must surely seem to many of you reading this. I’m surprising myself with how many words I’m dedicating to it, to be honest. But it’s only as I’ve been typing this that it’s occurred to me that I already know the perfect way. I’ve shared how I feel in writing and now I need to turn to the thing that always helps – my camera – to document it visually.
In truth, that wasn’t at all what I thought I was going to write about when I opened up my laptop. I try and trust that whatever words come tumbling out are the ones that need to be released though, so that’s what you’re getting.
Other than the shift in responsibility that unexpectedly tilted my world on it’s axis, summer has felt divided into two parts.
Part one (July) was crazy-busy with trips to Brighton (for fun), Southampton (for Sophie’s graduation), Cornwall (for work) and London (for art and to see my Mum). Part two (August) was full of waiting – for my best friend’s baby to be born, for Ella’s GCSE results – and as a consequence it felt long and slow. Even so, there were more trips, this time to London again (for more art and to see my oldest friend), to the Warner Bros Harry Potter Studio Tour (a belated Christmas present for Mimi), and back down to Southampton (to meet the aforementioned newly born baby that we were all waiting for).
It’s been a lot, looking back, and I’ve done my best to capture it all along the way – the big moments, yes, but also a lot of quiet moments in between, which is exactly what this whole series of bi-monthly posts is about.
Pulling all of these images together for this edition made my heart very happy indeed. I love them all – they fill me with joy as I scroll through them. Images of my girls, which are rarely permitted these days. Pretty light. All the details. Emotions. Memories. Milestones. Moments. Connection. Love. It’s all here, in these photographs. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like this about my work and it feels good.
This was our story in July and August, the summer versions of us.
