I take hundreds of photos every month, and most of them don’t get shared with anyone, let alone online. And yet the moments in time that those photos capture are just as important a part of our story as the other images that I do choose to share.
I originally created this blog as a way of documenting our lives, a way of watching the girls grow into who they’re going to be and a way of remembering who they once were. It’s something I want them to be able to look back on as they get older, because memories fade but (digital) photographs don’t. A legacy, of sorts.
It’s easy (and tempting) to only focus on sharing the fun bits, the memorable parts, the highlights and the celebrations. But I’m learning more and more as I continue through this crazy journey of motherhood and life that it’s really important to me that I capture the ordinary, everyday times that we spend together as well.
The pieces of the jigsaw that fill in the gaps to complete the picture.
The tantalising glimpses into who our girls are becoming.
The chaos, the calm and all the moments in between.
This monthly feature – The Moments In Between – is a space for me to share all of those magical and messy parts of our family life that would otherwise just stay in a folder on my laptop, never to see the light of day.
I feel like there was a very specific lesson for me to learn in August. It’s one that keeps on showing up in different ways but the message is always the same: slow down.
I tend to ignore it and/or fight against it, telling myself I’m happier when I’m moving, better when I’m all-in, that life should be lived as if tomorrow will never come because you never know when today might be your last day. I know why these patterns exist and I’m working on them. It’s hard.
My girls hold up metaphorical mirrors and show me exactly where and when I lose my way, demanding in no uncertain terms that I need to come back to myself and slow down. Honestly, I sulk when they do that. A lot. Because I know that in many ways they’re right.
Sometimes they go to the opposite extreme and I know deep in my heart that that’s not right either so we end up caught in a continuous, never-ending dance, a push and pull, a tug of war, an eventual surrender one way or the other.
I guess that sums up life in general – always working to find some kind of balance between the light and the shadow, an equilibrium where everything is peaceful and positive and good.
Whilst all of that sounds very poetic (it’s not meant to, sometimes words just tumble out of my head and when I read them back I can never quite believe they came from me), I really did find August very challenging. I recognise that I often tell myself the story that “Life is hard” and I’m trying to counteract that thought with “what if it were easy?” instead. Sometimes I feel like I’m almost there and other days I realise how far away I still am. Mostly I just keep on journeying, try to say present and soak up the joy, and trust that it’s all part of the process of… whatever the process is! Life I suppose.
As I looked through my images from the month, I realised that they’re actually pretty representative of how I’ve been feeling – moody skies, lots of shadows, pockets of sunshine, and a fair few faceless images too. I’m proud of them all and glad that I’m documenting these moments in our lives in the way that I am because every single one of these moments matters in ways that I know I can’t even fathom yet.
Telling our story in this way, month after month after month, is building and shaping and creating the story of us. And there’s nothing more important to me than that.
This is who we were in August.